Sweet memories with my tofu family

Grace falls down and covers me

2011-12-20T06:15:00.000-08:00

That one week in mission trip taught me a lot of things. I guess when I said that I wanted to know more about God, He really showed me so much more about Himself than what I've expected. Those little things that I've never expected God to remember? Yep He does.

I think the greatest lesson which I took away from the trip was really the grace of God. Just by the simple act of Hannah washing our feet, I was given a glimpse of what it is like to have Jesus wash our feet. I never felt so unworthy, so low, so unimportant. Yet God Himself was ever so willing to bend down and wash my dirty, disgusting feet. It was a great blow to me. Many times I've read the passage, but it never really spoke to me. It was then it occurred to me how God broke me down deep inside so badly on both Wednesday and Thursday so that I can understand more fully about His grace. But I know this is not going to stop here. I await much more grace and love pouring over me. I want to share it as well. God also made a way for me to share it as well. (e.g. the taxi driver. God is awesome :) )

Oh, just today I was shopping at Bugis Street for my cousin's present. It was then I realised that I had lost my phone. Frantically I searched around, but knowing how Bugis Street is like, I kinda gave up hope already. In my mind I was praying really hard that some nice assistant is to pick it up and return it to me. I suppressed my fears as I called my mum via the public phone. Each ring seemed like an eternity as I fought back my tears. "Just great, no one can help me now," I thought. I was ready to burst into tears already, so ready....when my mum finally picked up the phone and told me she knew that I had lost my phone. She told me to call the girl who left her number with my mum. And God is really awesome. She was really a kind shop assistant who was so nice to return my phone to me! YAYYYYY! I was so worried about losing my EZ link card as well. Well, all I can say is GOD IS GOOD! Let's hear a big AMEN to that!

The one that got away.

2011-12-08T00:43:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I wish you guys would just shut up already.

It's not as though people are not hurt by the fact that they've lost a friend.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And yep partner, I totally understand what you meant by not being close to either your old friends or your new ones. I was packing my room the other day when I came across many old letters and cards. Reading them made me want to cry. Some I regretted not putting in more effort to sustain the relationship, others simply touched me. I filed those letters in nice clear folders, I want to remember them forever, no matter how much I would have changed in the future.

I realised that most of my letters came from Delta 09'. Yep tofus, I kept your letters and even have evidence of how Kelly's fat handwriting changed into the thin slender handwriting she has right now. Dug up those old photos just to squeal in laughter at all our morbid haircut. I miss you guys so much. Oh, I even saw the cadets' letters. It just made my heart wrenched to look back and hoped that I had been a better NCO then. But alas, those beautiful Crescent days are over. How I wish I could have gone back. These days I had a lot of fun with my classmates and cell members too but the feeling just seems different. It's different when you meet up with tofus, because you feel like you're home again.

I don't know what the future holds. I'm just afraid. Afraid of being left alone again. Afraid of feeling lost. Afraid of being abandoned. Afraid of being made a substitute again.

I guess my list of afraid is never-ending.

I'm finally running into December's arms

2011-11-27T05:34:00.000-08:00

Countdown to ultimate freedom: 4 days

Yet I don't know why I keep having thoughts that I might need to retake next year. :/

Have you ever wondered how would the lives of those around you been if you hadn't appeared in their lives?

Have you ever wondered if their lives could have been better?

Have you ever wondered if you had made a difference?

Have you ever wonder if you brought happiness or misery to those around you?

I had. Sadly, I believed in the latter.

I wanna bid farewell to November and run into December's arms

2011-11-17T20:36:00.000-08:00

It's the 10th day since the start of the horrible horrible As.

It feels like an eternity already. But guess what... I still have another 4 more papers to go and another 13 more days of torture to endure!

I kinda feel like As have ended after the first week. Looks like I've survived the second week as well. Now it's all down to this final one week of written papers before I spam on those MCQs.

I'm really looking forward to all the stuff after As.

It's been an uphill battle. I thank God for His strength, love and guidance. Of course, all the wonderful people He sent into my life to egg me on.

We'll leave the fears to later on shall we?

Name's Temporal

2011-11-12T18:16:00.000-08:00

If you had only 3 years of your life left,

What would you have done with it?

Temporal satisfactions, Temporal love, Temporal world.

No simple formula

2011-10-22T05:28:00.000-07:00

To love is to hate;

To hate is to love.

Paradoxical Love.

Forgiveness. Why is it so hard?

Star Light Star Bright.

2011-10-17T07:29:00.000-07:00

Star Light Star Bright,

First Star I see tonight.

Wish I may, Wish I might,

Have the wish I wish tonight.

I wish I can see Delta 09' and HTHT the entire night.

His scars remain

2011-09-07T21:00:00.000-07:00

I'm not trying to scare you, but I truly believe that this is a real testimony. Even if you don't believe it, I still have to tell you this message I should have told you a long time ago.

Jesus loves you, O'precious one. :)

http://www.testimoniesofheavenandhell.com/2011/03/angelica-zambrano-was-shown-the-kingdoms-of-heaven-and-hell-and-the-return-of-christ/

Fireworks light up the skies

2011-08-09T22:15:00.000-07:00

I really wanted to watch the fireworks live this year. But I didn't even watch the parade in the end, let alone the fireworks. Deep in my heart I knew what I hoped for, but God made things better. He has a plan for everything, though I may not fully understand it.

National Day this year was different. I had spent my time with the least expected bunch of people- my cellies. Or so Klemmie calls ourselves.

I'll never expected how things turn out. Never thought that one day my things would change. I'm really happy for the bond that we share right now. A group of people having accountability to one another, to God. I thank God for everything He has blessed us with and I look forward to becoming a even more welcoming cell, passionate about His name. To motivate each other through this arduous journey of life. I hope we can stay this way. Of course I'm not forgetting those whom have shared fond memories with me as well.

Delta 09', friends, family... I really wonder how things are turning out in my life.

Friends for school, friends for course or friends for life? I really wonder if it'll all hold out.

When hearts need comfort, when hearts need security

2011-07-23T21:53:00.000-07:00

I absolutely hate this vicious cycle of getting your hopes raised just to let it be trampled all over again.

Stay strong my dear.

He said, "Let it be".

2011-07-11T06:21:00.000-07:00

I've prayed.

And this is what God said:

Let it be.

He'll be the changer of hearts. He has always been.

Have I been serving out of restedness or restlessness of spirit? Have I worried and thought too much about it? Have I attempted to over-plan and micro-managed?

Trust. Complete trust and dependence on Him.

For His ways are higher than my ways and His thoughts higher than my thoughts.

Patience. Utter patience.

Strength arise as we wait upon Him.

Yes Lord, I'm trusting in you. I'm gonna let it be.

People you want to love but just don't know how...

2011-07-10T07:57:00.000-07:00

Does it matter if you're like that?

Being nonchalant in all your ways.

Does it matter if you're always this cold?

Even if you appear to be so open.

Does it matter when you walk away?

Choosing to hide in your own deserted corner.

Sometimes I wonder if what I did was enough.

Wonder whether God was taking me for spins.

You seem untouched, unchanged.

And I thought God had actually used me well.

It turns out that more work had to be done.

And I'm slightly losing hope too.

To a certain extent I don't even think I want or can talk to you ever again.

Because you've really disappointed me a lot. And it hurts.

But I'll keep praying;

For God can and will indeed create a change in you.

It may not be through me but there are bound to be others.

What's pricking me so hard actually?

I don't know. I seriously don't know.

2011-06-29T01:30:00.000-07:00

What do you say when you can't love anymore because of the fear of falling in love?

黃小琥<沒那麼簡單>

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvoVAZ0EE0M&feature=related

沒那麼簡單就能找到聊得來的伴
尤其是在看過了那麼多的背叛
總是不安只好強悍誰謀殺了我的浪漫

沒那麼簡單就能去愛別的全不看
變得實際也許好也許壞各一半
不愛孤單一久也習慣
不用擔心誰也不用被誰管

感覺快樂就忙東忙西感覺累了就放空自己
別人說的話隨便聽一聽自己作決定
不想擁有太多情緒一杯紅酒配電影
在周末晚上關上了手機舒服窩在沙發裡

*相愛沒有那麼容易每個人有他的脾氣
過了愛作夢的年紀轟轟烈烈不如平靜
幸福沒有那麼容易才會特別讓人著迷
什麼都不懂的年紀
曾經最掏心所以最開心曾經*

想念最傷心但卻最動心的記憶

2011-05-27T07:41:00.000-07:00

I feel liberated. Do I?

These days I wished I had an electric guitar and I'll blast bitchy songs and start jamming in my room to act like an ultimate bitch wanna-be.

Brenda started screaming when walking down the staircase. It made me wanted to scream too. But if I ever did, I'll make sure that it echoes through Ryan Lai's eardrums to thank him for all the nice "affirmations" said to me.

These few days I feel like a little kid all over again. The day was spent studying with a few moments of escapism into childhood whenever I played with my nephew.

Sometimes I forget that I've to come back to reality, back to this grown up mindset I'm forced to succumb to. Sometimes I just want to be like a child. A child who pouts when he or she loses something he or she likes; even if the "something" is insignificantly small or unimportant: a cute paperclip, a sticker.

A child who embraces childlike innocence and knows nothing of deceit or murder. No malicious remarks, no hypocritical attitudes, no evil thoughts.

A pure heart, clean hands. It goes a long way.

Why do all of these fade away with age?

2011-05-14T09:02:00.000-07:00

You don't have to travel to cool romantic places to witness true love.

A lady leaning on the shoulder of a man.

Both heads full of grey hairs, wrinkled faces, undesirable body figures.

Walking sticks stood right in front of them;

As both lay sound asleep on the bus.

It's not every girls' desire to have the hottest looking boyfriend, but it's every girls' dream to find someone who truly care and love her even when she's no longer like before.

We don't need those sweet whisperings, all we need and want is security.

After all, we're all little women at heart.

2011-04-03T09:10:00.000-07:00

I find it ironic that it's so easy for people (refers to young kids) to post up their comments online telling the entire world how they've been through the darkest pit or the harshest flames.

Don't tell me that you understand what's pain.

Don't tell me that you understand what's hardship.

I don't think anyone of us will ever truly be able to understand it. Till then, I wish these people would just stop announcing to the whole world how their lives suck and attempt to find solace ad mist the simple pities that acquaintances provide on their profile page. It's pathetic. If you really want a listening ear, go find your true friends, they're the ones who can really give you the comfort. So stop telling the entire world that your life sucks because half-way around the world, there are so many out there who would kill just to have a life like yours.

So don't tell me you've ever understood pain, I think I understand it more than you do.

2011-02-19T00:30:00.001-08:00

Let's talk about love.

The emotion that drives people nuts, an emotion full of contradictions.

They say:

Love is sacrificial, love is selfish.

Love brings you to the top of the world, love thrashes you to a bottomless pit.

Love is happiness, love is madness.

Love makes you open your eyes, love makes you blind.

So what is love? What is considered your first love and where can you find true love?

Seeing the things that happen around me each day just allows me to discover more about this emotion that was once so foreign to me.

Was your heart ever broken before? Felt as though it was the end of the world just because this significant one never had his or her feelings reciprocated? Ever felt your heart bleed so painfully and never ever want to experience this heartache again? You learnt to pick yourself up and started building this safety barrier before you, afraid of falling into the deep dark pit once more, allowing no one to cross this invisible barrier you've built.

Lo and behold, just when you thought no one could ever enter again, this special one has already started to tear down your fortress even without you realising it and has secretly started to enter your heart. Many times you've wondered if you'll ever find this perfect one. You search through the darkest forest and got lost. You went through raging fire and got burnt. You scaled the highest mountains and fell. You went home injured and dejected, deciding to lock yourself in the safety of your home forever. It was just then you realise that the perfect tree right outside your doorstep had always been there waiting for you in full blossom.

Love happens when you least expect it to.

And dear pals, I'm not the one in love now but it was something that struck me ad mist my "wonderful" week in school. I'm so glad to have great friends in my life to stick by me and be with me whenever I need. This applies to both friends in class and Delta 09'.

Life gets sucky at times; Things change, people change, perspectives change. I've learnt my lesson on how not to judge a book by it's cover.

No matter what, my love for you will never change.

2011-02-18T23:54:00.000-08:00

I know I owe a lot of people their birthday posts so here goes:

Hey there you pretty woman,

thanks for always being there for me when I needed it. I know my bimbo-tic ways makes me a not very easy person to hang out with but I'm so thankful that you can laugh it off instead of being irritated with me. And the times when I'm angst, it sucks. But I'm glad that you're so tolerant towards me. So yea, let's continue to be good friends yea? And if you ever forget me I'll *piak piak piak* slap you. Hahas :D

Dearest Dar,

I'm touched that you yearn to spend time with the part and that you treasure all the gatherings that we have. I used to think you cold and hard to communicate with. But I've learnt that you're someone whom I can trust a lot. So don't be too stressed up with your poly life. If you ever need me I'll only be a few bus stops away from your school only and I promise that we'll never ever be apart. :) Love you!

(sorry, I couldn't find an individual shot of you :/)

Dearest Wu Jia,

You're still the oldest in our part even if we count in terms of month. But it's a good thing that there's no age barrier between you and us because you're still a kid at heart and you never look at us in a condescending manner despite being older than us. When in need, you'll speak up and exert your authority as the big sister to guide us. I hope we can still be as close as ever cause it's really hard to find a good friend who has lasted through since primary school days. :)

2011-01-24T06:23:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you really wonder where has hope gone.

And inside you yearn to be able to see just a glimmer of light.

But darkness engulfs you.

You scramble frantically around; turning your head to search for a way in every possible direction.

No way. No way. There's just no way.

You fall. You weep.

No helping hand offered. You're all alone.

Was that a shimmer you caught a glimpse of at a distance?

How could it be- among this darkness?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today had been a moody day. It seemed like a pain to get by although lessons ended really early. Somehow, there's this heavy feeling suppressing my chest area, making it really hard to have this light happy feeling that I used to have. School's been a real obstacle to get by, having not done well in my exams last year made me really nervous about the big As coming up. I seemed to have lost my mind, finding desperate means to understand a concept, brush up on my past topics etc.

My mind has been screaming. It was never once silent since school started. My heart pounds in trepidation; I hallucinate of what may occur. But what could be done to salvage the mess that I've made? Nothing. But only time and effort.

p.s~ sorry JY, dar and JE. I still owe you guys your birthday posts.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't so headstrong and stubborn. I would then have been able to weep out the sorrow of my soul in the secret on my room.

2011-01-17T06:44:00.000-08:00

I finally visited some blogs today, having not touch my computer since the start of January? Well, I found out that I missed out on quite a lot of stuff. I've been pretty caught up with school work and such, been pressed to constantly revise to catch up on the old stuff. I almost cried trying again. But then, no. I told myself I won't crumble. Not yet, not now, not without a fight.

The past hurts were somehow dug up again, just when I thought they had passed over. It seems that this ugly scar will remain as long as the issue is not worked out. But nothing seemed to be within my capability of solving it. All roads seem to lead to a dead end, tunnels with no hint of light.

They say that blogs are true reflections of one's character and a portrayal of one's life. I never doubted this fact. It just puts me to shame that I hardly know what's going on in my friends' lives and remain helpless even as I read their fateful story in front of the cold hard screen.

Helpless Heartache.

But if any of you happen to be reading this right now, trust me. You're not weird nor lousy. In fact, you guys have been the greatest thing to happen in my life. I couldn't have asked for more. Every memory you've shared with me, every footstep you've printed in my life, I cherish them a lot. You may think you're worthless. But you're indeed priceless.

On a lighter note, Happy Belated Birthday Jia Yue and Yee Shan. This is really late I know, pardon me for not sending you guys messages on fb. I hope you can feel my sincerity through the sms sent.

Pictures another time :)

2011-01-04T11:17:00.000-08:00

Have you ever treated a stranger really nicely and felt good afterwards? Well I did.

On the way to Kelly's place today I met this Filipino lady who came up to me and asked for directions. And it happens so that she was going to Queenstown as well. So I decided to just asked her to follow me onto the train. Along the way, we were chatting really happily and it turned out that she was a tourist visiting Singapore and she pretty much wanted to go to ikea to try the salmon, but I recommended the meatballs instead.(Although I'm really a huge fan of meatballs, but isn't meatballs the specialty at ikea?) So I was telling her all about the places of interest to visit and such. Later on we alighted at Queenstown Mrt and she asked if I could spare some time to tell her more as she jotted things down. I agreed and we ended up sitting at the MRT platform talking and exchanging contacts. Just before we left the platform, I offered to bless her with prayer and she agreed. I was quite happy. And so I sent her to the bus stop and watched her leave on the bus. Grateful as she was, she gave me a hug while lightly pressing her cheeks against mine and waved enthusiastically as the bus drove off.

Love. Honour. Blessings.

Many times we only offer a half-hearted help so as to not appear rude. But how many of us have fully showed hospitality and courtesy to the foreigners in our country? Many times we complain that our citizens aren't gracious and will never be as polite as the Westerners in Europe, but how many of us have actually bothered to change and be the one to make a difference?

Today I felt great because I've shown that Singaporeans can be gracious as well. And I feel even better because I was given the opportunity to bless and be a light for Christ.

I know my time on Earth isn't long. I don't care if people wants to love me or not, but I'll still want to love them like how the Father in Heaven first loved. That love as it is, is unconditional, pure and kind. That even though those who may not know Christ can have His love showered upon them as well.

I know I'm like an empty cup, but the Lord fills me with blessings and love, that I may overflow and share this goodness with the other empty cups.

2011-01-02T08:13:00.000-08:00

From this year onwards, I'm going to stop bothering about my weight.
Yes. So what if I'm fat and ugly. I don't care. I want to be accepted for whom I am and how I look. If your friends are being your friends just because of your picture perfect looks/ body. Reconsider that bunch of friends. The same goes in choosing your spouse. Would you want your future spouse to marry you just because of your physical attractiveness? Definite no.<
Tens of thousands of girls go screaming over how their flabby thighs jiggle or over the extra 0.1 kg that shows up on the weighing scale. (yes I know I'm guilty of that too)
BUT NO LONGER WILL THOU FALL INTO THE DEVIL'S TRAP!

"If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, will he not much more clothe you of little faith? So do not worry , saying "what shall we eat?" or "what shall we drink?" or "what shall we wear?". For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
Matthew 6: 30 - 33

The creator of this Universe has created me. He has carefully pieced every single nucleotide in the correct sequence in my DNA that made up my genetic code. I'm a jewel in His eyes and I'm His child. Why should I be so caught up in how I look? I believe God wants me to learn this valuable lesson and He has sent people to affirm it. I want to tell all of you reading this that you're all jewels in God's eyes; Precious and beautiful. So don't give the devil a chance to tear down all the beautiful things that the creator has given you. Trust me, you reading this now- You're beautiful. :)

Happy Belated Birthday Sophy Tio!

I'm sorry, it was late I know. My bad. Sorry! You're birthday was yesterday. Yep you're finally 17 girl! One more year before you can go out to buy alcohol and watch those M18 shows (though you have already watched them. :O) Anyways, continue to JUST BE YOURSELF. You're like the most hip person I've ever met. Like seriously. Your dress sense can be out-of-this-world but yet somehow you can make it stylish :D So I want to say I love you so much Sophy! I'll treat you to some weird alcohol drink next year! :)
p.s~ sorry about the photo. It was the most glam individual shot I could find of you in my photo albums :P

2010-12-24T05:22:00.000-08:00

And so it comes this period of the year again where everyone sits back to enjoy the company of loved ones and to reflect about how the year has been. Maybe some would have started on their resolutions for next year, which.. most would end up not doing all the same.

What is Christmas to you?

Is it a time for family? A time of giving? Or a time for love and sharing?

I say it's none of the above.

Because Christmas to me is a celebration that the son of God himself born into Earth as human so that man can be saved. It's the greatest gift you can ever receive.

Well, let's not have Christmas as the only time in the year for your family, giving and loving. Our time on earth is so short, let's use this time to the fullest and not regret it in future. Let's share and give like how the son of man gave it all freely. Let us love one another and make everyday Christmas day.

God himself has opened my eyes to see what love itself can be. I want to know and experience more of this love in action. And so, I'll begin my journey on discovering love and what it means to love.

More posts about love next time people. Till then, have a merry christmas and a happy new year :)

On the 5th of Christmas Delta gave to me,

One- Lots of laughter, Two-Love showers , Three- Endless memories.

And a cup of Starbucks coffee :)

(oh, how can I forget about cute Chih-Yin?)

I love you Delta 09' and all my wonderful friends out there! :)

2010-11-25T07:35:00.000-08:00

Lately I didn't feel like blogging because I don't seem to have an "feelings" for the events around me. Just when I thought life was uneventful, thought-evoking events just appears again.

Just today, I came out from the lift just to see 4 boys no older than the age of 12. They acted like a bunch of fail-to-be Ah Bengs whom kept staring at me as I walked past them. Obviously, the natural thing to do is to look back at the person who is looking at you, and that was what I did. To my surprise, one of them (the fattest one) called out to me while pointing at his puny-sized friend saying, "Eh, this guy wants your number leh!"So I looked at that small guy as I walked away, shaking my head in disbelief.

To think about it, the nerve of kids these days. It makes you wonder what's going through their mind. Little people who have yet to graduate from primary school thinking about how to court girls and such. It's ridiculous. Plus, they're no taller than me. And the puny guy? He was only as tall as my shoulders.

This bunch of kiddos not much older than the group of children whom I've interacted with in my PW, but why are they so different?

It scares me to think about how this world have changed. Why are there so many abortions? So many cases of STDs among teenagers nowadays? What has caused this change of mindset? Have people really matured earlier? Or is it that they thought they are already matured?

Is that why people have been searching for love in all the wrong places? Trying to get company so as to make one feel better? - It's crazy.

I'm glad that I'm older than those bunch of boys, if not I might have been scared just like how I was scared by the Ah Beng's whistling and the calling incident. There's a need to be on guard at all times. Therefore peeps, be careful. Move away from the person if he makes you uncomfortable and punch him in the face if he continues to get fresh with you; unless he's your boyfriend duh.

(I mean it depends too, you don't want your boyfriend to get too fresh with you too right?-but I'm not asking you to punch him!)

Anyway, moral of story. I'm thinking too much. But I think what I've just wrote makes a lot of sense too. In Crescent, I was sheltered from the rest of the world. Now, everything is an eye opener to me.

Suddenly, the world doesn't just revolve around me, my friends and NC.

Suddenly, the world seemed like a cold, harsh foreign place.

2010-11-14T07:46:00.000-08:00

Many times I've been asking myself why did I land myself up in this school. For I'll be faced with the immense stress of constantly striving to not be at the bottom. I hated to think about how monotonous the life people there experiences and I dreaded to be part of it.

But now I thank God. Thank God that He has placed many good friends in my life. Thankful that He has sent angels into my life. God has never abandoned me. He has plans for me already. Great plans that I can't wait to find out what they are. I'm really glad that I'm in my class. It certainly makes everything more bearable. It's been the best class I've ever had so far, I hope our friendship will not end even when JC life comes to an end next year.

Easier said to forget then to really do it. Foolish heart.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

God you're amazing. God you're good.

God you love me and the world so much.

God teach me how to love You

and teach me how to love others;

Just as you have loved me.

Heal my heart and make it clean.

Open up my eyes to the things unseen.

Show me how to love like you have love me.

Break my heart for what breaks Yours.

Everything I am for Your kingdom's cause.

As I walk from earth into eternity.

~Hosanna in the Highest~

2010-11-01T01:40:00.000-07:00

Red spots keep appearing on my body as if it was a punishment for the grave sin I've committed.

Maybe I really deserved it. Yet no amount of red spots on me could be sufficient to offset the mistake I've made.

First you feel numb, then you feel like crying. Somehow, nothing is coming out. There is only emptiness inside you. You sit and stare into space. You wonder if everything is gonna be okay.

Guilt, shame, remorse sinks in. You know you can't hide it anymore.

Killer words stabs your heart again. This time it hurts even more.

So you hide yourself in your room. Lay on the bed staring into space. Time passes, you're still foolishly staring. Night falls, still looking.

"What could she be doing?" you ask.

"Maybe, just maybe. A glimmer of hope may appear amidst all these darkness." she answers.

What could I be hoping for?

Who am I trying to kid?

How is hope still possible?

Where could it be?

Why am I still searching?

I don't care about what others think.

I care about what you think.

2010-10-20T03:00:00.000-07:00

Mission: Spotting hot guys
Status: Highly Successful

Yay! I'm really happy today cause my mission was a total success. I managed to spot not one, not two, but A LOT of hot and cute guys in OCS. HAHAHA. My group's tour guides already met the criteria once we arrived and along the way, more were spotted. :D

And if you're wondering if I spot any familiar faces, yep I did. But I don't know if they still recognised me or not. And I think everyone has changed; everyone became prettier after ROD-ing. Haha.

I didn't find the tour really interesting though. Yea, we got to see the combat, shot the SAR-21, look at people throw smoke bombs and lightning sticks, slapped camouflaged paint on each other faces and saw how the army takes down the enemy; but I wasn't really that interested though. Maybe it's because I've seen a lot of these stuff before so I wasn't exactly squealing like the rest of classmates at how the rifle would jerk at recoil, how the gunpowder stank etc.

If asked whether I want to join the army; my answer, "a definite no". I'm saying good bye to all these stuff for good and lead my gu-niang life. :)
My friends were laughing when they pictured me in the army. Hey, they haven't seen me during camps only. I may be small, but I'm firm kays?

And I found out that camouflaged paint is edible. Coolios~
__________________________________________________________
Riding the bus towards the camp;
Going past the same familiar road again.
Flooded with memories of the cheers we sang;
And the anxiety each of us had.

I glanced at my surroundings;
To realise that you're not here with me.
Choked back with unspeakable emotions;
It was this nostalgic feeling.

Combat moves were swift and fast;
Just like how good times came to past.
A quick move is all you need;
To sweep your partner off her feet.

The familiar firing sounds filled the air,
The familiar gunpowder smell in your nose,
The familiar recoil at your shoulder's hollow;
The unforgettable victorious memories in your mind.

There was"the rush" and "leopard crawl",
NCOs voices ringing, "3 seconds and prone!"
For it takes 4 seconds for the best sniper to aim and shoot,
Oh, IFC with us was just one big joke.

But who can understand? Who can comprehend?
Who has experienced this joy that I had?
This is a story written by all of us.
And this is our story buried deep in our hearts.

Dearest Delta 09', you're greatly and dearly missed. I love you! :)

2010-10-19T03:58:00.000-07:00

Shouldn't a whole be a whole?
What could still be considered a whole if there was a hole in the whole?

The heart hides the intension the eye can't see.
The mouth shoots arrows of malice at the ears of the listener.
Like daggers, it pierces the heart and shatters the soul.

W0rds of deceit kill. Hush.

__________________________________________________

Updates:

Finally, (LIKE SO FINALLY) the truth is out and I'm FREE from this stupid misunderstanding. Congrats JE for being so brave, cause I don't think I can or will do that if I were you.

Tofus, if you're wondering what I'm talking about, I'll tell you another time kays? :D And partner, I just realised we haven't talk on the phone even though we promised to update each other after Promos. Haha.

Oh, I'm going to OCS tomorrow. Guess who will be there? Other than my school, RV will be there too. I wonder if I'll be able to meet familar faces. Like those from SC and SSC. And wish me luck peeps, I wanna see hot army guys. :D
On second thoughts, I shall not raise my hopes too high up. Based on past experiences to army camps, I haven't been able to see one person whom I thought was *coughs* enough. Sigh, what could I expect right? :(

Anyway, it's been long since I came into contact with all these army stuff already, I'm kinda excited for tomorrow; cause seeing all these camouflaged stuff always remind me of the crappy yet enjoyable time I had in NC. Of course, you tofus are in my thoughts too! And I'm so gonna be the expert on those stuff there since I'm the only person in my class that used to be from NC.
The is the first time I came flaunt my knowledge about the army to those NOOB guys! HAHAHA. They cannot call me a Bimbo anymore. (In your face people! Even though you won't be reading this.)

Okayye, I shall stop suan-ing the guys in my class already. They keep saying that I'm a feminist. Whatever~*roll eyes*
And kuddos to them for helping to protect our country in future. Yay guys!
(Have fun enduring NS while I enjoy my gu-niang life :D)

Oh, Island creamery and pizza outing last friday was nice. It was great meeting up with you peeps. I didn't realise I miss you guys so much. And Jo, even though you may not be reading this, but you've lost weight. (Happy eh?)
Lao gong, you're still as cute as ever, partner and AJ still ever so pretty :) Lynette still as vulgar and lovely in her own way; Kelly a sexy babe always and Sop, ever so skinny and CORNY. :D

Can't wait for our next meeting! :D

2010-10-11T04:01:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how a simple every day's activity can always cause one to think and reflect about it. Many times, things are more than what meets the eye. People can choose to look at it in the bad way, or simply just to take things by your stride and accept whatever that comes along. Well, I hope to look at everything from the bright side and hopefully, I can also look at each individual, no matter how weird he or she may be through the eyes of Christ. But obviously, easier said than done.

Today I happened to give up my seat to this old man on the bus. After thanking me, he proceeded to sit down on the seat. And just then, another passenger alighted so I managed to get myself a seat again. To my surprise, the old man turned around and offered me one of his cheese pan cakes that he had in his plastic bag. Obviously I declined his kind offer but he still insisted I took one. He went, "Just take it, take one." Well, I didn't take the pan cakes in the end because firstly, it's wrong to eat in a bus and secondly, I don't think it's really nice to take a pan cake from him.

Suddenly I thought about all the old uncles or aunties which I've offered my seat to before. I recalled all the grateful smiles which they had in their faces as they sat down. Some of them would thank you profusely; some will start telling you how tired they were with sore knee caps and such; while others start telling you their life stories. If they happen to be a regular commuter on the bus, they would even smile at you the next time you board the bus or might even keep a seat just for you. But today's really an exception, this is really first time someone offered me food on the bus. Haha.

It was just then a thought popped into my head. Those smiles which you received, it gives you this warm tingly feeling to know that you've brightened up some one's day. In life we pursue good grades, best schools and high-paying jobs. Yes, all of these can guarantee a temporal smile upon your face, but can it ever guarantee a smile in your heart? Often we're too comfortable in our comfort zone and we hate to leave it, just like how unwilling we are to give up our seats after a really tiring day. But Christ challenges us to step out of it, and often when we willingly obey, Christ will lead the way. And the satisfaction you get transcends all pleasure in which materialism can offer you. ______________________________________________________
Just a quick update on my life: Today was games day and I played hand ball. I was quite "fortunate" to be one of the only 2 girls there so I was given the task to play in all the 5 games since a minimum of 2 girls were required to be in the field at one time. Well, we lost really badly and we kinda got thrashed at almost every game. The other teams were really too good.

Handball being a "male dominated" sport had left the the girls hardly doing anything. It was all too fast. One moment the ball is in front of you, the next moment it's gone. You run, but you're always slower than the athletic players and you get breathless after a while. Then you try to jump and catch the ball, some super tall guy jumps in and takes it away from you. You try to defend the goal post, another tall guy zooms past you. In the blink of an eye, he has already scored. You say, "Crap, I've gotta be more careful the next time." And again the whistle sounds, the same guy leaps past you again and scores. Frustrated at your own stupidity, this time you made a dive for the ball while he's dribbling. To your surprise, he elbows you right in the middle of your chest and makes his way towards the goal post, not even bothering to apologise there after. You stood rooted to the ground for a moment, trying to absorb the shock and not show the pain in your face. Having recovered from the shock, you try your luck again in intersecting the ball so as to make some contributions to your team. The next thing you know, you get shoved aside really hard by some TALL guy again as he charges right at the goal post. He jumps, he scores and he didn't apologise AGAIN.

I hate it when guys are so ungentlemanly. Like hello?! I am a girl for goodness sake, and my friend is also a girl! She gets elbowed right in the middle of her forehead while I get pushed around like some bean bag. It hurts a lot you know. Try ramming into a brick wall. That's how girls feel whenever a guy rams into her. Well, it's no use complaining here too. It's not as if those ungentlemanly peeps would read this too. But at least you get my point - I'm pissed with those ungentlemanly meanies.

I'm so glad the guys in my class aren't like this. If not I'll really believe that guys are jerks and I'll probably never get married in future. (Why am I talking about this? Maybe no one would even want me too cause I'm too violent and fierce. *roll eyes* And Dar, I know what you're thinking of. You're thinking about pocketing the $50 bet that we had right? You can stop thinking about it cause yours sincerely here will win the bet! :D) Oh, the Lignum's team guys were quite nice too. They were really friendly, nice, showed concern for their team mates and they so do not TACKLE the girls of the opposite team. There was this one guy who just wouldn't let me bend over to catch my breath even though I really needed to bend over. He said it was not good or something like that. See? This is what I called being nice and gentlemanly. It's showing concern for your team mates even though you only became friends just before the game started.

Later in the afternoon we're supposed to have some AIDs talk but the speaker couldn't make it so it was cancelled. (THANK GOD.) And it was one of the earliest time I've been home. (Around 2.30?) I think I'm sun burnt again. My parents were like asking me what happened to my face. My dad said I was chao da (it means burnt. BLEH.) and I was whining away again cause I hate being tanned. I think lately I pig-ged a lot again. I NEED TO LOOSE WEIGHT. I think I should start running, doing sit ups, swimming, playing tennis... ANYTHING just to get my ass moving and burn those fats.

And tofus, we really need to meet up soon. I miss you guys so much. And if anyone of you wants a chat or anything, call me man! I'll be happy to give you an update of my life. Kelly babe, you sound stressed too, you must jia yous k? And don't worry too much. I love you girl! Oh, just in case the rest of Delta gets jealous, I express my love to everyone else too. So here goes: I LOVE YOU AJ! I LOVE YOU PARTNER! I LOVE YOU LAO GONG! I LOVE YOU KELLY BABE! I LOVE YOU DAR DAR! I LOVE YOU JOVI! I LOVE YOU LYNIT! I LOVE YOU HOOI CHOO! I LOVE YOU SOP! I LOVE YOU JIA YUE!

And to that one person who reads and doesn't tag, yea I LOVE YOU too! You know who you are :)

2010-10-06T05:53:00.000-07:00

Often we complain about how sucky our lives are.
Often we sulk over the unfortunate events.

Yet without these bitter and sour experiences, we'll never learn to appreciate and treasure the sweetness in our everyday lives.

Simply, it's just about enjoying life's simpliest pleasure.

A group of classmates hanging out in one mundane afternoon - yep, that's life simple pleasure.
I'll treasure it. :)

2010-09-29T21:22:00.001-07:00

I don't know what to say about myself.

Lately I keep worrying about getting retained. Just last night I couldn't sleep till 4am because I kept thinking of all the consequences of getting retained. Tossing and turning about in bed, the images of me crying in school after promo results are released keeps replaying in my mind. All the sudden, I felt the sourish-bitter feeling I had when common test results are released. I'm really scared and because of that, I can't seem to focus when I'm studying. I panic whenever I meet an unfamilar concept. It's like a vicious cycle. I think I've been putting in quite some effort for econs, bio and chem; but I seem to have neglect Math a lot. I'm really afraid of that subject. Somehow, everytime I see a Math paper, I sense fear in my heart. But now, I'm starting to sense fear in the other subjects as well.

All the sudden, the road in front of me seem so blurry and hazy. I can't seem to find a source of light to give me hope in this pathway of uncertainty. I can't afford to be retained; I can't bear to see the disappointment in my parents face; I can't accept the humiliation to be retained.

Till I see the results, I don't think my heart can finally be at peace.
Yet, I fear the coming of that day.

2010-09-21T01:53:00.001-07:00

Lately I keep seeing my ex-classmates from primary school. Somehow, I think I recognise that person and that person recognises me as well. We would like stare at each other for quite some time before I turn away; because I'm afraid that the person might think I'm some psycho or wierdo staring at him or her. In my mind, I told myself that I must have recognised the wrong person, because afterall, one can change a lot in just a few years time.

Somehow the memories of primary school still seems very vivid to me. I look at that person and I'm reminded of the actions done or words spoken by the person in the past. I seem to remember a lot about the person: the appearance, the actions, the speech, the trouble gotten into- It was as if I was transported back into the past again.

Last time we used to study, talk and play together. Last time we were friends. But now, we have become total strangers whom we don't even bother or dare to talk to now. I wonder if this would happen to everyone and who knows, it might even happen to the friends I have now.

Treasure your friends and these precious moments now peeps, things are bound to change. When it happens, it'll be a whole new ball game.

2010-08-30T09:44:00.000-07:00

Sometimes one can't seem to control their emotions don't they?

Sometimes I wished that I was a cold, hard rock that feels nothing. Then maybe hurt, grief, anger, disappointment or guilt could never have their chances on me.
Then again, I would have never felt happiness or joy, laughter and the most important one of all - love.

So... What does it take to love? I guess the many confusions, misconceptions and darkness of this world have tainted the true meaning of that precious emotion. Everyone is in need of love. People are doing crazy stuff to gain acceptance and looking for it in the wrong way. Many failed to realise the fact that having their loved ones to care for them, is already considered a blessing. It's love in action.

I stop, I walk, I sit, I breathe. I look around me and I begin to think, "Is love really like this?" Or am I only blinded by the perceptions that this world has set about love.
But I know, I can never find any greater love in this world than the love that was showered upon me by the blood which He shed and the life which He gave, for a sinner like me, on the cross.

2010-08-20T19:14:00.000-07:00

I suck. Big time.

Whenever I get back my test papers, I flipped it to the front page. All that greets me is a single digit number indicating that I failed again. I see people around me complaining about how they should get another half mark here or another mark there so that they could attain "this grade".

I feel this sourish-bitter feeling in my heart, I feel it spreading to the rest of my body. A frown forms as I struggled to understand what the teacher was blabbering about. But in my head, it was all still a blank. I could feel it, this warm feeling coming to my eyes; this throat that could never be cleared. In my head was a battle going on; a voice that tells me to shut up and listen to the teacher, the other tells me that I'm dumb. Another tells me to try harder next time and another tells me not to cry in front of everyone.

Maybe I'm really good at hiding my emotions. Maybe I'm not. But who cares. I feel the sorrow filling me up the same way again. This feeling sucks.

2010-08-08T20:58:00.000-07:00

How does it feel to be confused? Why do we feel confused? What makes a person confused?
I hate being confused.

I have better things to worry about (e.g. getting promoted at the end of the year :/) yet I'm constantly thinking about the most trival things. Sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice in coming to this school, in choosing this combination. in my choice of CCA, in practically everything. If I could turn back time, I wonder if I would have made the same choices again. Because, everything seemed to have flew past so quickly. One moment, it was the end of Os, the next moment, receiving of results. Before you know it, you get your postings and school starts. You thought you could adapt to the new life, but you realised how much you missed the past. Why is the new life so different? I still feel foreign to it and I guess I'll still remain foreign to it.

Sometimes I really hate myself for being myself. Times where I tried to change but I always failed. I can't help it. Why am I still like this? I know God have created me to be this way and He loves me for who I am. Yet I can't love myself for being myself.
This sucks.

I need time to sort things out. Yet time isn't on my side at all.

Crap. see? I'm starting to think about the trival matters again. Bleh.

2010-06-17T23:00:00.000-07:00

I don't know where I should start. Since I've not been blogging for so long already?
Yep. I shall start with the most recent events I guess. Kelly's chalet? Yep, it was awesome. I don't know if you guys felt the same way as I did but I felt that we were finally behaving like how we were last time. The crazy delta. yep. that's the way we are, and I like it :D

Last Saturday was my cell leader's wedding and I'm kinda happy to be able to help out as her personal assistant, although I feel that I didn't have a lot of work to do though. But seeing people get married is such a blissful thing. Many times I wonder what would my wedding be like. Even more so, I wonder how my groom would look like. Then I'll start wondering if I can even get married in future. WTH. I think I'm really weird. We'll see how in due course yea? And Delta if ya reading this, please remember to invite me to your wedding in future k? Jia Yue you'll be our first, then followed by Jo. Hahas, we'll see.

I had my class gathering on Monday. I played pool even though I didn't know how to play it. I think I've only learnt it through the drama series that just ended. And I think the young male lead in that show isn't that good looking, but I still think he's cute. Anyway, class gathering was madness. And I found out that only 1 other classmate of mine can play majong in my entire class. THIS IS SO SAD. In Crescent I could find so many majong khakis to play with and you tell me that no one here knows how to play majong?! sigh. Hey tofus, majong session some other time k? And let's not forget about our shopping spree.

I've been trying to do my work these few days but to no avail. Stupid JE is so smart yet she denies it. Common man, stop kidding yourself. Haha. I've could never have done those darn sequence and series without her help. Speaking of Math, I really should be doing my homework now. :(

My Dad just told me to sign up a facebook account for him. He said his boss told him to stalk whoever making bad comments on their work. Well, I told him he's too old to sign up for an account. And now he's reading this article on how playing bejeweled helps stimulate the mind. Yea, I've told you so. Playing computer games indeed is good :D (That's if you take away the excessive violence and sexual scenes in today's video games)

I think I'm becoming really really girly. I keep whining over little things and those stuff that I used to do in NC? I don't even wanna think about them. Plus, I'm starting to like wearing skirts and nice clothes recently (even though I don't dare to wear them out, it's a secret desire to own them. HAHA) Sometimes I think back and I keep wondering what in the world was I thinking in Sec 1. Yea, but I guessed if I hadn't had that kind of boyish thoughts then, I wouldn't have met such AWESOME people. I mean like, everyone's jealous of our esprit de corps spirit. (well I can't say that conflicts don't exist at all, but we try to keep it at minimal yea?) Sigh. RAGING HORMONES? PMS? This sucks.

Oya, my beloved is coming home tomorrow. My sister and I will be going crazy again entertaining him. yep. Bye.

2010-03-19T23:48:00.000-07:00

It's on rainy days like today that gives me time to sit at home and think of many things. I don't really call it self reflection, or neither is it emo-ing. I can't help but wanting to go back to my Secondary school days and relive it all over again. Go through that stupid Os that seemed so scary and intimidating a few months back. Now it's over.
The entire week was spent mostly meeting up with Crescent people; 4C1 and my beloved Delta. It seems like we have a thousands of words to say to each other, complaints or simply admiration for our present schools. It seems like we're on different paths now: Different people, different stories, different experiences. I guess we no longer could read each other like a book or know just exactly whose the person we're gossiping about because all we could ever know is his or her name. We no longer can tell who exactly is the person that some of us find wierd or who exactly is the person we found interesting. We can only picture as each of us describes the character in our stories.
Who, what, where, when and how. There are so many question marks to all our lives now. I don't know exactly what are my friends is SA is now experiencing or how are the people in JJ are doing now. It seems to me there's this unforeseen barrier between us preventing us from chatting as easily as we used to. I can never understand the culture of whatever each of them are facing.
I just hope that we will still stick together no matter what. Times have changed and people have changed as well. As we continue to grow and mature we face more serious trails and consequences. Sometimes, I really wish time would stop and turn backwards. I think everyone's changing. Maybe inevitably I've changed too myself. But deep in my heart I will always always love Crescent and the people there, for it's really a second home to me.

2010-02-07T00:33:00.000-08:00

I'm back. I decided to update since I thought of how Dar would be bored if I didn't entertain her with my stupid blog posts.

I think I'm officially becoming more bimbo. Every time I know that I will be going out into the sun I will put on sun block. -_-lll I still remembered it was the last day of orientation and we had showdown(water bombs). I brought the entire bottle of sunblock and shared it with the girls in my OG. OMG. I'm such a GU-NIANG right?! I think most people wouldn't have believed me if I told them I used to be from the NCC. But if you're thinking that I'm such a bimbo, you haven't met the guys in my OG only. They're far worst than me; complaining about standing under the sun even when it's only for a photograph! That's why I ended up calling the most bimbo of the guys "Gu-niang". It's kind of ironical because he's in discus for track and field, one of the tallest and the most built up guy in the OG. And to think he asked me why I called him gu-niang..Like duh right? Call you manly guy? *dots*
Okay, he's not that bad cause we ended up bullying him also. HAHAHA.

Anyway, back to my point. I came to a conclusion of the reason why I became so bimbo was because of my previous CCA, NCC. Well, if you're wondering why I came to that conclusion I shall explain it to you. See, the general assumption of NCC people; especially NCC girls(in my school for instance) are macho (not in physical size but in their spirit), manly and of course damn zai. We will go all out and fight for what we believe and what we want. We're appear to be not afraid of anything. We endured the stupidest scolding sessions, harsh punishments, scorching sun, etc. We appear to be the toughest. All this I tell you, is crap.
Because of after 4 years of this crap, you'll ultimately graduate to become a bimbo. I'm not kidding. Observation of past seniors and even my own platoon mates. Yes, 80% of my platoon mates have transformed into a bimbo or became more girly after our R.O.D. Therefore, it's proven that this CCA will turn you into a gu-niang.
And why is this so? See, after enduring 4 years of crap, you suddenly enjoy freedom. You're no longer required to slog your guts out and worked as if you're a soldier in the army. You begin to enjoy your treatment like a lady, hence you won't want to be sweating out there in the sun anymore. I'm serious. I think it's one of the main reasons why WE(coughs coughs) don't wanna go back as - and not because of -(as majority of the people thought that way.) but because of this reason.

Well, if you still don't believe me, you can try observing the people that have went past this stage of their lives before. Because I tell you, I'm a person who is giving a factual recount and this source is completely reliable because I'm transforming into a bimbo myself too. (what a retard statement)
But of course, not till the extent whereby I'll be carrying a pink furry handbag and skipping school every time a pimple appears on my face. That kind of species, which I shall term it as the "Ultimate Bimbo" can only be cultivated through go-zillion years of extreme bimbo-ness. Of course, there are girls who manage to evolve into that categorised kind of species; To that, I simply have no comments.
Well, I can't say whether this saying is true for the guys. Because if it's true, I have nothing to say. All I can do is to picture a bunch of sissy guys screaming and whining during their entire 2 years of NS. Maybe it's the opposite for guys, that they become more manly throughout the 4 years in that CCA. But based on what I've observed, sadly, the guys during camps have obviously not matured or at least became more manly. To add on, the 2 ex-NCC guys in my OG are not that macho in a way too. So I shall not come to a conclusion of whether the male species does become more manly at the end of their 4 years in NCC. Hopefully, NS will transform them into something more sturdy.

But no matter what, girls trust me, join NCC only if you want to become more girly at the end of your 4 years and not to become more manly. With that I shall end my extremely random post. Bye.

2010-02-05T19:56:00.000-08:00

School have officially started. :( :( :(
And I fell asleep on my first day of lecture. Oh no. I don't even understand what the lecturer was saying...And guess what? I saw people in my school mugging after the lectures already!!! This is crazy...crap.
Jia En and I were complaining on our way home. And we both came to a conclusion that we don't fit in to the school. Shucks. I miss Delta 09', underwater clique and Crescent. I wanna go back. I hate this new life. Sigh sigh sigh. I'm looking forward to next Friday, when I can go back to Crescent and meet my favourite girls :D
I'm planning to join shooting as my CCA, anyone else too? Sigh, DELTA! MEET UP SOON K?!

2010-01-26T20:43:00.000-08:00

Thank you God for giving me more than I've asked for. :)

I'm gonna walk and skip around my new school in my super dull grey colour uniform and promise to NEVER NEVER NEVER turn into a MUGGER! LA LA LA. Crap. I think I'm going crazy. I'm going to call KIMMY everyday to make sure I stay sane and drop by for Taiwan sausages at Chih-Yin's house if I get a chance. HAHAHA.

Almost died waiting for that stupid message to come. I seemed to have some biological alarm clock that woke me up at 7 even without the shrill alarm of my phone. I tossed and turn in bed, refusing to check my phone for the postings. Alas, I decided that it was now or LATER. So I reached for my phone. The messages that came were from Chen Ting, and where to meet for today's cycling trip. I got kinda disappointed. Unknowingly I reached for my itouch to check fb; saw many people who had received their postings already. Kim told me that the 6 pointers usually gets it first but it was nearly 8 already by the time I was done checking fb. Still no sign of that stupid sms. Kim was nice to ring up and help me check my postings online. It turned out that I got into my first choice after all. And guess what? The message only came at 8.19. I think if I had waited till then, I would have been in the emergency ward in the hospital by now.

National Junior College (science)
Here I come :)

2010-01-14T21:48:00.000-08:00

I've submitted my application. Like so finally. My mum dragged me out of bed at 9am so that I could get it done. On top of that, she's been really cranky. And not to mention, CRAZY.

I didn't know choosing JCs were such tough decisions to make. So many factors to consider, so many "research" to be done before the final decision is made. I'm kind of jealous of those people whose parents have had some form of higher education and hence would be able to give them some guide or tip or two of which JC and what course to choose. My parents, unfortunately, didn't receive a very high level of education. Hence, all my mum could say was, "choose what you want." And of course, in addition to a few comments that hinted that the top 5 JCs would oviously be better. My Dad? He told me to try out for Shuqun, which is located just opposite my house, so that I can wake up at a later time before heading to school. Just FYI, Shuqun is FOR SECONDARY SCHOOL KIDS. I must have looked like someone who had failed O-levels to him. I can't blame him though. Being in his sixties, he's old enough to be my grandfather already. Maybe I should stop addressing him as Pa, and call him Ah Gong instead. Maybe it's time he "wake up his idea already".

Anyway, my heart still has lots of resentment when I submitted my application though. I can't believe I put the school that I didn't really want to get into as my first choice. But I can't help it though, since S'pore is a place that scrutinises your academic records. I'm just pissed at myself for not being able to compete with my sister. AGAIN. She's always in a better school than me. Since Secondary school to JC. Even though the age gap between me and her is relatively huge, I still secretly hope that my studies can be as good or even better than her. In another way, it means that she cannot laugh at me for doing worst than her in my studies. Ok, so she's beaten me at PSLE, but we were equal for our O-levels score. Since she took HMT, which means she's got 9-4 and I only had 7 - 2. But since she made it to a better school, in other words, she has once again beaten me at the Os. Bleh.

I'M GONNA MUG LIKE CRAZY AND DO WELL FOR As!!!!

To the school which has entirely grey coloured uniform, please take me into your science stream! It's just a friggin 1 point difference. I'll go there and mug like crazy. (I sound like some total asshole here) I WILL MUG!
- It's not like any of the people there will be reading this though-

It's heartening to know that about half of the tofus are applying for the same JC. I'm not worried about making in to that JC, but it's just that I want a better one. Furthermore, I don't really like the idea of having swimming as their P.E lessons. Do you guys remember this?
Wherever she may be,
Part of Delta 09' will she be.
I hope it'll stand throughout our lives. I can't wait to see the time when we'll all get married and have our own kids. (I think I'm thinking way too far...) By that time, our conversation topics may have switched from the usual gossips about NC, to ideal bfs, to complains about bfs, to complains about husbands and finally the wierd things our kids does. BUT I WON'T LOSE MY BET NO MATTER WHAT LYS! You'll see. :D

I was reading through my testimonial again and I was struck by the last paragraph by which Mr Loh wrote. This is what was written:
Shu Mei is a gracious young lady who possesses maturity beyond her age and excels in self-supervision and self-improvement. She has potential to succeed in all her future endeavours.
Ok, go ahead and have a good laugh. I bet you peeps reading this now would be thinking that something is seriously wrong with my form teacher. This lame, bimbo-wannabe person called KSM actually possesses maturity beyond her age? This is simply hilarious. Whatever~ I guess this is a standard way most teachers would end their testimonial so that it will give an overall good conclusion of the student.
I'm kinda interested to read what is written for someone's else testimonial. Seriously, the language used is really POWERFUL. Tofus, if you have the time and are willing to share, please post up your testimonials at part blog. TYVM.

2010-01-14T07:03:00.000-08:00

Results for Os came out on the 11th Jan, Mon. 3 days have passed since I received my results but it still feels as if I've just received it yesterday.

On Tuesday, I visited NJ with Zhi Jing. To my disappointment, there wasn't really anything showcased there for us to see. My cell friend offered to show us around, but in the end he couldn't make it because he had extended lessons. (Life is seriously tough in JC)
I met Viona and chatted for a while. She was telling me how you could never get lost in NJ because all you have to do is walk one big round and you'll end up in the same place where you started. Viona've changed quite a bit too and she poked me like how she usually does and asked, "sm, where are your apps?" Like sheesh, thanks a lot Viona, you've just reminded me how fat I am yet I'm still going back to my usual sinful habits. (I should totally find a wall and bang my head on it; Sorry Chen!) So, Zhi Jing met 2 of her seniors who have completely different personalities. The former advised her to put NJ as one of her top choices, so as to play safe. The latter, told her not to bother putting NJ as one of her choices. In the end, Zhi Jing was still convinced that NJ will remain as her 9th choice.
After meeting my church friend, we(Zhi Jing and I) ended up shopping at 313. :/

Wednesday, took a trip down to AC and made Sui Kee wait for me at JE MRT. Sorry girl! My bad:/ While her bro was supposed to take us on a tour, we ended up being in a tour with this other Sec 4 guy and his dad. It was wierd cause half the time, it only seemed as though the tour guide was only showing the father son around the campus while we tagged along at the back. I was supposed to go to HC with Zhi Jing in the morning, but I decided to "fly her kite" since I don't stand a high chance of making it there given my score. *sigh*

I'm starting to feel a bit disappointed with my results. I'm sure many would want to slap me now if they knew what kind of results I've got and yet still be disappointed with myself. If you had been reading my previous posts, you can probably gauge what my results are since I'm still here blogging. Don't panic cause my spirit isn't the one typing this post or neither did I jump off the building.

I'm just sad because I know I can't make it to the school I've always wanted to go. During this period I keep asking myself why didn't I work harder and continued with higher MT. Maybe if I weren't so obnoxious or playful during my Sec 2 year, maybe if I had worked harder to improve my Chinese, I could have made it to the school I wanted. I never realise how significant this 2 pathetic points mean to me; until now. I'm sad because I've seen my mum's disappointed face when she tells me that I can make it anywhere if I had that 2 HMT bonus point. I'm sad that I can never follow my sister's foot steps, to go to one of the most prestigious schools in Singapore and study there. I guess I'll always be stuck in the slightly above average kind of school and hopefully when I get into University(I hope I can make it there in the first place), I won't be getting in the just average kind of course.
Look on the bright side, at least I won't have to worry about getting too much "constructive" feedbacks from the HCI guys there. No offence to the HCI guys, (I think they're really good at giving good feedbacks and not to mention, being good at their studies), I think they talked a lil' bit too much? I still remembered how much I wanted to stangle this fella during SC AAR because he simply could not stop talking and my legs were cramming really badly. I believe the people from Alpha Coy share my sentiments as well. Of course, I would still love to make it to that school and experience what it means to study in an elite school where people will simply be awed by the fact that you came from that ELITE school. But I can only dream about it, or at least, not worry about being whacked by any HCI guy that happens to be reading this post now(what is the probability that one might be reading? - NONE :D), because I'm not even putting it as one of my choices. But I should still be cautious when I walk on the streets. Haha.

But wherever I'm posted to, I believe God has made plans and He still wants me to be a light for Him. I should just trust in Him totally.

2010-01-11T06:45:00.000-08:00

Too many things happened recently and I don't even know whether I can take some time to reflect on what has happened before new events start coming in.
Maybe, I should just pen down whatever's on my mind now before I forget about it- again.
2009 came and went really fast. Many times I felt dejected or even at times pressured by the things happening around me. One of those events that made me cry? That fateful day on 090409. I guessed that most of us cried because we hated to part with whatever we had experienced in this CCA. All that we had gone through, all that we had worked hard for. I believethat if all of these hadn't meant so much to us, it would have been just another stepping down from the CCA kinda event.

Then came the Chinese Os in June. I feel as though I'm totally not prepared for it. Came up with a crappish storyline during the actual exams, and played a guessing game with the answers I wasn't sure off. I believe it's God's grace that I managed to scrap my distictions for the subject which I can't even speak properly in. Haha.

Mid-years came rolling in at the last week of June holidays, after which Prelims started to kick in. I managed to stay maintain an L1R5 of below 20 for my mids, even though I wasn't really doing very well in it. Prelims came much faster then I had expected, didn't study much as usual but scraped a 14 for my L1R5. I'm shocked because I thought I would have easily flunk it.

Then teachers tried to "wake me up when September ends" because the big Os were starting in October already, I felt that I sunk deeper into my "slacking mood" instead and even though many times I reminded myself to keep studying, I didn't achieve my aim at the end of the day. And I can't really say that I did put in my heart and soul into the exams. Maybe I did, but I don't realise it and I keep thinking that I haven't done enough. Still, it's by God's grace that I can do way better than what I've expected for Os.

I really want to thank God for what He's done in my life. For what He has given to me. He's truly awesome, giving me more than what I've expected and more than what I've asked for. I want to say that all these would not have been possible without God, without His guidance and His peace within me. I want to continue to trust in Him forever more. I want to make my life a testimony that God is faithful and God is always good. :D

2010-01-11T06:31:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YEE SHAN!!!
I wanted to post the super nice picture of you at grad night but I realised that the photo was at my other com. So, I guess all these will have to do.
Having known you for 4 years now, (gosh time seems to fly so quickly) I realised that you have a very interesting personality. You give others an impression that you're someone who isn't supposed to be mess with, yet you let loose in front of people whom your comfortable with. You're 17 now! (oh no, so old already!) And I still love you and you shall forever be my Dar! Don't you ever dare to forget me! If not I'll pester you like no one's business. Haha. Have a sweet sweet time on your special day :D

2010-01-03T06:27:00.000-08:00

HAPPY SWEET 16 SOPHY TIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Finally you have reach the magic number 16! This means that you can finally watch NC 16 movies now! Woohoo. And for goodness sake woman, you've grown up. Stop being so lame!!! And I guess I don't really praise you that often but since I'm such a nice person I shall say something nice to you. I think you're very hip person. Even though you're younger than me but your dress sense is way more BOOMS than mine. So ya, keep it up girl but don't bother trying to change my dress sense to be like yours. HAHAs. Stay strong and cool woman, AND never lose that kickass smile of yours :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WU JIA YUE!!!!!

I can hear you saying "OMG" when you see these pictures. Yep, having known you for almost 6 years already, I think I've seen how much you've changed as well. Even though most of your comments to me are actually insults, I still love you woman because you've played a major role in my life. Thanks for being a big sister to me and without you, I think my primary school life(and of course my secondary school life) wouldn't have been so fun and enjoyable. I love you and continue to be the forever-kid-at-heart type of person I know.

I know you both love green, so I've dedicated this post to you too in GREEN. :)

2009-12-18T07:50:00.000-08:00

I'm FREE for the next 3 days! Woohoo! It's goodbye to work - for time being. Seriously, I've been staring at the computer screen for like 24-7 nowadays. This is bad, REAL BAD.

I'm still wrecking my brains on what to get for tofus. I know I still owe them the LONG OVERDUED R.O.D presents. Haha. I'm sorry tofus, I promise my presents will be from the bottom of my heart and filled with alot of love from me :D (I know it sounds wrong, don't puke)

Oh! I saw a cute guy on the bus today! :D :D :D

He is so cute ok? His complexion was so fair and smooth, his hair though short had a beautiful tanned colour and you can see how smooth it was. He has this most adorable and charming smile :D And his cheeks were puffy and red and it was really tempting me to go and pinch them!!! Gosh, he's so cute and I badly wanted to pinch his cheeks.

But he got off the bus earlier than I did, so I was sad because he really kept me entertained throughout the bus ride. I guess I'll miss this cute guy.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I'm sure he'll grow up to be a cute, handsome young man. For he is a no more than 2-yeared-old learning how to talk. :D

2009-12-16T09:49:00.000-08:00

While waiting for that stupid video to be uploaded, I decided that I should blog to pass time instead.

Today I went out with the tofus. Yay! It was supposed to start with a cycling trip but things didn't turn out the way it was supposed to be so we ended up spending our morning cum early afternoon at Macs instead of cycling at West Coast. The change of plan wasn't that bad afterall because we did have fun at Macs. HAHA.

Then it was KBOX with the tofus! It was really expensive. (Heart pain), almost double the amount we expected. But I guess it was worth it cause everyone had a great time.
By the way, sorry tofus if my singing has damaged your ear drums or something. Even if you swear that you don't want to hear anymore of those songs that I sang today, I won't blame you. HAHAHA.

After K-Boxing was dinner! We wanted to have it at the Barrage, but since most of us were too lazy to travel, we had it under a "beautiful" bridge instead, coupled with a stunning view of the Esplanade and the river. There was this wierd guy who told us to save a slice of pizza for him, we "gave him our word" and the pizza still ended up in our alimentary canal anyway.
Then it was camwhore time. The usual jump shots, emo pose and of course, the spastic and unglam photos of everyone. And as usual, Wu Jia grabs Chen for a photo. And guess what they decided to do this time? A crime scene. So the both of them ended up frolicking on the floor with so many passer-bys staring at them? Yep, and if Chen didn't tell me that it was supposed to be a crime scene shot, I would totally have bet that it was a shot of 2 AH BEHS SLEEPING UNGLAMLY ON THE FLOOR. I think we attracted a lot of stares from the passer-bys as well. Everyone seem to stop and stare at us while we were posing for our shot.
Just some back track stuff to mention: Wu Jia and Chen were acting like some drunkards even though I don't know what made them so high.

I'm tired and I really want to sleep. There's work again tmr. :((
My biological clock is screwed.

2009-12-14T07:00:00.000-08:00

There's so many past events that I have yet to post up photos or blog about. But I'm really lazy to do so. I guess I'll just update on the future events.

Yesterday I went out with Jovi. We were supposed to go bowling but we decided that the rate for weekends wasn't worth it. So we went to IMM to shop instead. We were supposed to get presents but instead we ended up shopping. We got the same top from cotton on; 2 for $20. And guess what? The price of the tops each was $19.95. Wouldn't it be better to get 2 instead?
Then I bought a top from espirit. It cost me 30 bucks. But I figured that it was a good deal because the usual price was $59.90.

I still wannt to shop and seize the opportunity of year end sale to get my new year clothes as well. Unfortunately no one was free to come out and shop with me today. :(
But it's ok, I'm going shopping with my mum next mon. I hope I can find something I like.

It's a bit difficult to type while having the ukimono strapped at your tummy and vibrating vigourously away. It tickles. But I guess it's worth it cause it claims to be able to give you a flat tummy. If it really works, I'll definately tell you guys :D But it feels funny too because you can totally feel your fats vibrating.

I'm working again tomorrow. Sheesh, work is starting to get boring. I hope I can get the day off on Wed to go for P.O. I'm so looking forward to P.O man. I miss hanging out with the tofus although it's only been like 3 days since we last met.

I think I need to start exercising ALOT and not eat so much junk food. Ok KSM, it's time you start eating all the food with the pyramid label on it and discard all the junk food in your fridge. You don't want to keep expanding horizontally or see layers of flabs jiggling under your thighs and arms. I guess I should start on the push-ups too before all the muscles accumulated last time turns into flabs.
I want to start playing tennis again. And maybe swim on Sundays too. Anyway up for a tennis session with me?

2009-12-12T06:16:00.000-08:00

It was an eventful day yesterday. Woke up early and went back to school. Did not have a really pleasant time there, so I don't wanna talk about it.

Went to work again. Seriously, working life is starting to kill me. It's a boring, mundane office job. My parents are like laughing at me when I finally found a job and went to work. My Dad was still to tell me how tough working life is. I found my job simple, stress-free and boring instead. Whatever, it's to kill time for the ~~LONG~~ holidays anyway.

I just realised that the results are coming out soon. OMG.
I'm really going to kill myself if I get a double digit for my raw score. Be prepared to come for my funeral.

Anyway, after work I met with the tofus at YCK to go and see HC's POP. H.Q provided such a "HUGE" bus that it could only fetch less than 20 people to H.Q at a time.
Thus, we ended up being late for the parade. We only reached there to witness the march out only? Like wow. Looking at the bright side, it was better than nothing. Oh, we saw 2 spies there too. HAHA.

We didn't eat the buffet provided even though inchek Marthi insisted. I still hate him for making life difficult for us when we were only Part Bs. Whatever, I won't be seeing him anymore so I shouldn't be bothered with such trival stuff. The buffet consisted of the "usual H.Q food";yellow rice with veggies, fried chicken and the super nice jelly. The Eclairs was something new. After that was the performance, we only managed to see the contingent 1 & 2's performance. I have to agree that HC's contingent's performance was entertaining but somewhat disturbing as well. Shan't elaborate.
Still, the instructors performance was really an eye opener for me. HAHAS.

Oh, we modified the marching in song and sang it for HC, together with a failed attempt of "Tao pok". But we left for supper afterwards without HC cause her parents were there. So we travelled to CCK for Macs. I ATE A MACDONALD MEAL AT 10.30PM AT NIGHT! It's really sinful!!!!!! But I couldn't help it because I didn't eat anything except 2 kuehs and 2 slices of bread for the whole day. So it was a lot of gossiping and talking of nonsense at the breezy area outside Macs. Caught the last train home and continued with the failed convo on msn. I really have to applaud Sop for her ability to sit at Fort Canning the whole night just to get good seats for the Brown Eye Girls concert cause I'll never do that.

It's kinda sad that I actually had a mixture of feelings when I went back to H.Q; Happy, sad, "the whatever" feeling.
I feel as if I'm coming home, yet I'm still "haunted" by the memories of H.Q camps. One can be fun, the others - disgusting.
When asked whether I do regret it,
as a matter of fact,
I kinda do.
But I really want to let it go so that I can really enjoy the full blast of JC life to the fullest. I guess it'll be even harder after 6 years of this crap. And what's more, all of these without Delta? It won't be the same.
I'm pretty sure I'll get over it a 100% when JC life starts.

2009-12-07T07:20:00.000-08:00

Just to kill time, I decided to write another post. About today!

7.00 am
My living alarm clock walks into the room, yanks away my blanket and says, "Eh 7 o'clock already leh, don't need to go to school ah?"
Me: Draws blanket over my head and says, "Let me sleep a while more."

7.30 am
My living alarm clock strikes again. This time I reluctantly got off my bed and went to shower.

8.15 am
Hopped on to bus 98 that came as soon as I was at the bus stop.

8.37am
Missed the crowded first train and boarded the next one.

8.52am
Reached redhill. Walked to school.

9.00am
Reached the foyer. Called Sop.
Me: "Don't tell me you just woke up."
Sleepy Sop: "Errr, sorry sorry! You reach already ah? I come now."
Next person to be called, Kelly Chua.
Me: "Don't tell me you just woke up."
Guilty Kelly: "Eh sorry, I woke up late, I coming now."
Hais, ok...
*Phone vibrates* A message was received.
From Chih-Yin: "Eh sorry, I only at my house bus stop."
WOW!!!! I'm early for the first time.
Sits at bench on second level and stones.
...
...

9.15am
Me: "Don't tell me you just woke up."
The Sleepy and not guilty Chen Ting : "Huh?...You in school ah, okay luh, I'm coming now."
(Doesn't turn up until 12.45pm)
*Takes out bread and eats it.* *Waved to a few Aunties passing by"

9.45am
Like so finally, Chih-Yin turns up when I was about to start on my cross-stitch.

10.00am - 3.00pm
Crapping around in school

2.30pm
*Cadburry ring tone* Answers the phone to discover that it was the pregnant woman in my family calling me.
Me: "Hello, yes?"Sis: "Ah girl ah, where are you? Want to come shopping with me? I'm at Park way now."
Me(thinks hard): "Errr, see first luh."
Sis: "Aiya, come now la, I wanna eat KFC. Eat with me."
To cut the long story short, I pangseh CY and Chen to go out with the pregnant woman.
ALL the sudden, I discovered that one side of my contacts dropped out. Great. Search around for it just to discover that it was at the corner of my eye all these while. So I could not put it back in, walked around Far East with my sis with only one-side of my contacts on and became some one-eyed dragon. (So stupid.) I had some intuition that I should bring my lens case and solution, WHICH I DIDN'T. And great! My contacts really dropped out and it was harden by the time I reached home. So STEWWWWPIG. Lesson learnt : Trust your instincts.

3.10pm
Met sis at Isetan before going to Far East for KFC.
Discovery of the day : Pregnant ladies do have weird cravings. And not to mention a huge appetite.

3.30pm - 5.30pm
Shopped around at Far East. My sis bought more things than I did even though she said it was a shopping session to get me new clothes. Seriously, I really didn't like those things which she said would look nice on me. Dresses? No thanks.
The only thing that I bought? - 5 pieces of tu tu kueh and one of it was gobbled up by the pregnant woman. What happened to a strict diet when you're pregnant man?

And just a side note. My dearest tofus who are reading my blog, leave your comments please. My blog is screaming, "Revive me from the dead!" Your comments are much appreciated. Even if Chih-Yin goes there and writes lots of comments like "CHIH-YIN IS THE CUTEST GIRL IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!", she's welcomed too. (Cy, just don't overdo it ya?)

2009-12-07T05:49:00.000-08:00

4C1 09'

Since I have practically nothing to blog about, I shall blog about past events like PROM!

Well, I wasn't believing it when Sui Kee told me it was prom the next day. Like what? I don't even feel as if Os have ended on that fateful day - 14 Nov 2009. O wait, or was it the 16th? Whatever~

Anyway, Prom was on the 17th? It must be, cause it was the day I started wearing my contacts. I took 1 hour to get them on my eye because the person who sold me the contacts? Didn't really do a good job on teaching me how to wear them.

A confession I have to make : I really hate my dress. I bought it because of a few reasons.

1. It's less than $50 - means that I won't really be wasting my money since I'm not going to wear it ever again.

2. Time was running out.

3. It's black.

In conclusion, I still hate it. It make me look really fat and ugly. :/

Back to the topic. So, the 1130 people (Dawn, Kim, Sui Kee, Lover and Inez) spent almost 40 bucks per person on the friggin ex hotel room. Great. But prom was fun I think. Sui Kee tried to make me look cool(like a rocker) with her make-up, but I think I ended up looking like an emo kid instead. (I'm sorry Sui Kee, it's my fault not yours)

Everyone was mostly taking photos rather than eating. When it was the 6th dish? I think me, Sui Kee and Zhi Jing were the only ones left on the table still eating. We were still hungry after dinner! I can't believe it-but I stopped myself from eating Macs at 3 am in the morning because I really need to shed off the extra FATs.

I think the real party came only at night? We celebrated Dawn's birthday, I ended up losing my voice(I always thought I had a high tolerance to "voice-breaking" because of NC but it turns out that I'm wrong. This is so SHINGZ) We tried to catch the leo-nides(sp?) too but couldn't. Then it was Macs and spastic imitations of a rock star with Kimberly's Happy meal's toy guitar.

Went back to the hotel, went crazy with Kimberly and fell asleep before I even knew it.

Crazy night. Crazy people. Crazy moments. But a night to remember.

And last by not least.... My beloved tofus! <3I chose this photo cause I think everyone looks better in it :D Except Wanie who fell asleep. (Hahas! But she's still pretty luh!) And Darling A.j came in 3rd for Ms Crescentian! She should have totally won the title for she looked gorgeous in her gown. On second thoughts, I think it's much better to have been the 2nd runner up because she would totally have to dance with - if she won. Thank your lucky stars girl!

2009-12-04T08:09:00.000-08:00

Life's getting a teeny weeny bit boring nowadays. Okay, I'll take my words back, it's getting really boring. I hope that I don't have to go to the extent of digging out my textbooks and assessment books to do.

I'm kind of worried about results for my Os. I should totally jump off the building if I ever hit a double digit for my raw score. It sucks. My cousins are being shitty. Just a few days before, the PSLE results came out and my 12 year-old cousin happens to beat my score by 2 points. Well, I'm not being a sore loser or what, but her brother(the 10-year-old) was like friggin rubbing it in with words like, "but she beat you anw" and gave me the you-are-such-a-loser look. Like WTH. And the other 11-year-old(looks at me) and was like, "I'm going to beat your score, I'm going to get 250!" And I gave him the -_-lll look because his grades now are like ... (indescribable, if you get what I mean).

But what the heck, I'm not going to let my mood be ruined by arrogant, childish kids who think they know everything.

I think I'm going to say something that I'm going to kill myself if I say it but I'm still going to say it.

I miss NC. I miss NC. I miss NC. I miss NC. I miss NC. I miss NC. I miss NC. I miss NC.
I miss NC. I miss NC. I miss NC. I miss NC. I miss NC. I miss NC. I miss NC. I miss NC.
I miss NC. I miss NC. I miss NC. I miss NC. I miss NC. I miss NC. I miss NC. I miss NC.

These were all typed out ok?Not copy and paste. Crap. I never thought I would have said these but I did! Always longed for the days when I can finally be free and not be tied down to those dumb rules etc. But I realised that if not for those "dumb rules". I think I could never have been a rule abiding class-chair and vice-capt. And not to mention, a NC session is like a free slimming session. Gosh, I miss those days with Delta 09. Those days when we went for 3 days without bathing(a record for most of us), times when we were k.i.d-ed, times when we sit down and polished our boots together in class, helped each other with those troublesome uniforms, gossiped and complained together, studied and did those mutuals together, marched and crapped together.

It's like a dream. It's like I've just woken up from a very pleasant dream. These 4 years flew by so quickly. I wish I can turn back time and go through it all over again, even if it means going through those tough times again. Everytime I pass by the parade square, canteen, G-block, 2S1 07' classroom, I keep remembering everything that we did last time. It's a nostalgic feeling. Everytime I think of school, I think of you guys. I don't really want to move on to the new journey ahead of me. But I'm just glad that we're still together, that we still have common topics, that we're still in touch. I hope this will never end.

It's because we're Delta 09' and we'll always stand by our motto : United we stand

2009-11-14T23:29:00.000-08:00

Today was spent in front of the com the whole day. Well, I was sorting out my pictures and clearing the unwanted documents actually.
Did a facial today as well. It hurt a lot, as usual. But it was worth it. :)

Prom is coming up. Woohoo. But I'm not really looking forward to wearing a dress though. Last Friday, we shopped till our feet ached a lot. I didn't know shopping could be so exhausting. But finally settled for a dress after rounds of angony of trying dresses. I'm sure Kimberly would agree with me.

I don't really have a lot of plans after prom. Like oh no, what am I going to do? May be going back to Crescent if I'm needed. Other than that, I have no idea of how to spend my holidays.

I think I should get a job. And earn some cash so that I can buy better presents for people in Christmas. :)

2009-11-10T22:23:00.000-08:00

Why does it feel as if Os have ended?

2009-10-13T02:22:00.000-07:00

091009. This is a significant day because it marks the end of secondary school life for the class of 2009, Crescent Girls' School.

I shall update about it another time. Now, it's off to the books. Good bye!

2009-08-07T20:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday's celebration was fun. But I can't really say that it's superb because it really isn't that good compared to previous years. (other than the one we had last year) Mainly because the highlight of the entire celebration, which is of course community singing, isn't fun. I still remember those days when we used to just scream our lungs out singing songs like, " stand up for Singapore", the whole NC contingent together with the seniors would form a circle and apparently take up the whole space in the middle of the hall. But I guess, this no longer happens anyway, because we can no longer stand up and sing the entire song without it getting disrupted.

The walking signboard competition was hilarious. especially Mr Toh. He looked just like a character that just walked out of the comic book. Hahas :D

Of course. there was more camwhoring and doing of spastic things in the hall. Then sang with Delta, (for the last NDP), couldn't cry because the atmosphere was inappropriate. I'm glad we still stood together, despite all the "abnormal" things that happened to us; call it screwed but it won't be the same without any single one of us. You don't understand what I'm saying right?

Parades in school are just getting "cheesier". Just last year the entire UG had to endure a long NDP speech and 2 rounds of singing of "You my people, my home". Not to mention the counsellor that screwed up the entire parade sequence. This year, sad to say, was not any better. For example, the marching in of the school flag was redundant. Like common, this is National Day, not the school's birthday. What's the point of marching in with the school flag?Furthermore, none of us(sec 4) could see anything EVEN though it was our LAST chance to witness a parade in school BECAUSE we were sit-ted at the BACK of the parade square and MISSING OUT on all the action. How nice of the school.

Ok, switch of topic. I had almost 4 hours of tuition yesterday when it was only supposed to be 3. I really think that my tuition teacher looks like 'boy genius" (inside joke). The more I look at his face(at the beginning), the more irritated I get because I started to remember how he made life difficult for us. (esp. me and chen) But then, the major difference: He's good, very smart but contradicts himself at times.
So, the session ended at 9 and I decided to have a piece of cheesecake for my dinner. I think that piece of cheesecake must have been very huge because I was so full until I could puke. Then I fell asleep, woke up at 12am to study. Did chem and gave up at 2.30am, so I went back to sleep again. *shucks* I really need to study.

2009-07-31T05:51:00.000-07:00

I've learnt very important lessons today.

Lesson 1: "Treasure"
Yes. We have heard this word so many times. "Treasure your time, treasure your friends, treasure your family, treasure..." But what indeed is the meaning of treasure? I admit that I'm just another teenager, who also treated these words of wisdom as a piece of garbage.

Today's lesson was so..enriching. What touched me wasn't the fact that the old man and the old lady managed to be together in the end after 40 years of separation, but maybe more of what lao shi had said. I kind of agree that it's true. I'm even afraid that what she said might even happen to me. It seemed so wrong, so unpredictable but yet it's happening here, in this real world. What can I say? But to thank my Chinese teacher, who has once again impacted me with her stories and set me thinking in an even deeper way.

Lesson 2: "Love"
When I first saw the MV, I have to admit that I thought it would be another cheesy "love" story. But the ending turned out to be quite unpredictable, which caused many of us to be in a dilemma. What that 'Wu Bo Bo" did was so touching. I know this sounds stupid, but this MV of the love triangle between 3 old people actually made some of us cried. But I couldn't cry, no matter how hard I tried to think how touching the story was. Maybe it's because I didn't really believe that such "lasting love" can exist between humans and maybe because Gladys, who's sitting next to me couldn't stop laughing her head off- totally spoils the mood.

Still, I think the "sacrificial love" was really the "love" that touched me. Maybe I wouldn't have such a touching love story in my life, but what I can proudly say is that I have experienced the ultimate sacrificial love that was meant for me; Love of the the Father, Love of Christ.
What more could I ask for? His love surpasses everything in the Universe, even the act of Wu Bo Bo's "sacrificial love". I'm thankful.

I promised Chand that I will specially dedicate this post for her to read. So ya here it is:

Chand, where in the world are you? Come back now to S'pore! Miss you so much! I can't lie to you about life being great because it's really killing me! There's about less than 2 more months to Os and I'm not feeling prepared. I wish I can turn back time and go back to the past, when we're all just happy kids.

ok, I'm off to stone again. yea, I wish.

2009-06-21T01:01:00.000-07:00

I think I've reached a point where enough is enough.
I can't understand why am I doing this for. It doesn't seem right to me.
It's been 7 years and everything still remains unchanged.
I guess deep down inside everyone hearts we knew the problem, but not one even dared to speak of it or do something about it.

I guess, maybe it's really time for me to go.
But is it really possible?

*****************************************************************************
I need to stop thinking about so many things. Stop wishing and pleading for this and that.
It never happens, no matter how hard or how much i want.
Many times my mind want to succumb to my foolish thinkings, but my heart tells me not to.

I can't decipher what is right and what is wrongg. I feel as if I'm being pulled at both ends.
I'm entertaining the thought which is the biggest joke of the century, yet I still believed it's true.

When will I ever be still to listen to Him?

2009-06-10T00:41:00.000-07:00

I shouldn't be here. But I guess I couldn't resist coming here for just "a while".

I happened to chance upon some of my primary school friends' blog while blog hopping. Everyone has changed so much and so caught up with their own life. I guess our paths as classmates do cross, but once. Looking back at the old times, I kinda wished that I hadn't been such a mean person. Maybe, my life in primary school would have been more memorable(even though it's quite memorable to me already)
I got saw the 6I forum that we used to have but couldn't sign in because I forgot what my user name and password was. I guess that shows long I haven't been to that page already. Maybe if we were to have a gathering one day and I were to show up, going up to people to say hi; blank faces would be staring back at me, all with the same question in mind, "just who the heck are you?"

Well,maybe it was my fault though, that I chose to abandon my past and embrace my new life once I stepped into secondary school. And I'm not at all regretful about the choice which I've made. Being here in Crescent, with my classmates and cca friends, it's like the best time of my life. I couldn't have asked for more. I've tasted and I do hunger for more of this type of adventure. Things here are like rides on a roller coaster, so wild, exciting and fun. I'm thankful that I got into this school, if not I would never have met such important and dear people in my life.

I guess people do leave their footprints in our life as we continue to travel in our journey of life. Even though many a times we complain about the stupid politics that Crescent has to offer but deep down in our hearts we know that this school of ours has given us a rocking time of our life. The thought of just leaving all that I have now, all that I'm so attached to, all these things which I've took for granted, is just simply saddening. I hate to say goodbye but I do have to move on in life. Just a few more months and we'll be through - for good.

Till then, let me treasure all that I've took for granted.

2009-06-02T12:26:00.000-07:00

Finally, the battle of 01062009 is over.

I'm relieved. I got to write my story afterall. :)

I still hope my DSA application works out with the JC that I want. I don't really like the idea of applying for many JCs too. And considering the fact that I don't have a lot of talents to start with.
Sigh. A lot of things been going through my head lately; getting distracted despite the fact that Os was still round the corner.

On a lighter note:

HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY!!!!

KELLY(my ACBC plt mate), HOOI CHOO(my chipmunk plt mate)
and CHIH-YIN(my dearest LAO GONG!)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope after you gays turn 16, continue to be childish and retarded. So that I can look more matured
beside you. HAHAHAHA!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All the news reports, it seems to set me thinking. That all a long I was in a really sheltered area; protected from the outside world. I suddenly feel as if I'm Laura from GM. Other than the fact that I'm not crippled or as introverted as her. I always thought that - was a safe place, free of the worldly "crimes" that usually happened in the adults world.
But I guess I'm wrong. - turned out to be the same anyway. I guess the world isn't a very nice place as I thought it was. Many of man's ugly nature had revealed itself overtime.
Things that I thought only happened in the adult world are even occuring in the youths right now. It's scaring me. What worries me is that how am I going to protect myself from this ugly revolution.

I hope I can be a kid and free myself from the worries of the world.

I am disgusted. Truly I am.
God, please save the world.

2009-05-04T06:52:00.000-07:00

Indeed time flies. I really wanna treasure every moment that I've left in Crescent before I move on in my life's journey.

But there seems to be nothing quite left for me to look forward to coming to school though. Except stupid,morbid,retarded classmates of mine(eh herm, Suikee the odd, Kimberly the kiddo etc.) that keeps me entertained throughout boring lessons. And smacking Valencia Tan on her head to wake her up. That idiot's been dozing off more than I do and yet she still scores better in her tests.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _,
even though you all may not be reading this but yea, I still feel like saying it. Treasure those letters k? Both of us wrote till our hands ached. And ya, that'll be the last ever present you all will receive from us.

SS , Chinese.

I feel so screwed. I've never mugged so little for a major exams before. (Usually my a lot is equals to 4 hours only) I don't even feel that exams are round the corner. Someone save me.

-Still lost in her own world-

2009-04-21T06:11:00.001-07:00

I'M OFFICIALLY SIXTEEN!

I guess I can understand why people say "happy sweet sixteen", because seriously the sixteenth birthday is the best birthday ever :)

Thanks for all the presents! They're seriously the nicest gifts I've ever received. Thanks Yen Ler for the "bread" and bear, Kai Ling and Meiyi for the food, Kimberly,Sui Kee and Zhijing for the combined 16 items. Valencia for the cake and Edlyn and friends for the "build-a-bear" bear, which they named Potty Koh:) It must have cost a bomb. Also thanks Inez for the special "Sadidas" present and everyone who have wished me a happy birthday.

Also thanks Delta for the beautiful dress? Haha, I know you all hope that I can be more girlish but yea..will try to wear it IF I really feel the need to be more femine. :)
Charlie,
thanks for the wonderful surprise. From the early morning "thrash out talk" to the birthday party. And the group hug was more like a stampede. Hahas. I love the bear that you all gave. But I still don't know what its name though. But I'll remember that it's born on 18th April. The whipped cream attack was fun and kinda wierd? I swear I'll bring a raincoat everytime there's a party thrown by you all. First it was eggs and now it's whipped cream. But nevertheless, thanks for buying us shirts and I love the photos board too:) Sorry if you all had been waiting for me for very long though.. But again, thanks alot :)
Partner- I have to agree that the monkey piggy bank is nice.
Thanks for the card:)

Ok,shall end here. Thanks to those who made my sixteenth birthday really SWEET and memorable! :)

2009-04-12T01:14:00.000-07:00

Blood.Tears.Sweat.Pain.Cramps.Aches.Fears.

This was my life in NC. But along with these came,

Joy.Love.Laughter.Fun.Accomplishment.

And they helped me to endure all the trails and obstacles that came my way.

9April 2009, I just want to mark this day. It marks the closure of another chapter of my life. A rather important chapter of my life. NC, it has played a major role in my secondary school life and its significance to me is simply indescribable. It has caused me the most painful memories yet it still remains as the one that brought me my fondest memories. And now, I feel so empty without it.

Nevertheless, things come and things go. "All good things will come to an end", I guess I should really let it go and start concentrating on my studies now. Afterall, I have full confidence that the specs now will do a great job.

Chen Ting,
my dearest partner! look at how much they've grown and mature:) And look how much we've grown too:P. Indeed our job now is done. I love you so much partner! Thanks for being my karate to combat to PDS and finally to NCO partners. No words could express how thankful I am to have you as my partner and sorry for the times when I was being too unreasonable or whatsoever. I will always remember the times when both of us had to be stressed over the last minute changes, the part and all that stuff. Still, I love you always :)

Charlie 09,
time really flies and to see you all now taking up the responsibility of the contingent really makes me very proud. Thank you for the wonderful time you have given me and your senior Chen Ting and thank you for making our past 8 months really meaningful. All of you had been great cadets and I've never been happier to be a Part C NCO.
"Rank is what you wear, respect is what you earn."
Do bear that in mind when leading your cadets, we have faith in all of you that you all can be a good role model to all your cadets. Work hard specs, I know all of you can do it. Bring the contingent to even greater heights.
Btw, thanks for the awesome chalet, games and presents :)

Delta 09,
the time has now come for all of us to pack up and carry on with our journey. As much as we hate to part with each other, we still have to leave this comfort zone that we are so familar with. Though the time for us in NC had been much shorter as compared to the previous seniors, I believe that our bond is not weaker than the other parts. And even though our journey in NC has come to a halt, our friendship will never come to an end. Thank you for being there all these while. For being the ones that shared my woes and my worries, my tears and my laughters. Thank you for being the ones that picked me up when I fell, lent me a shoulder when I needed one, wiped away the tears on my tear-stained face, laughed over my silliness together. It's been a great 4 years together, you're the reason I stayed on in NC. And I do hope that we'll never forget each other even when we head off to different schools to carry on with our life's journey.

I love you, Delta 09
-united we stand-

2009-04-05T07:18:00.000-07:00

Time's ticking.
Slowly each minute passes as the seconds goes by.
Seriously, I'll treasure the last few days of my service.
Knowing that by then I'm no longer part of this unit; this organisation.
It saddens my heart to leave these all behind, all that I've worked for.
8 months the time limit that we all had,
I guess this is the end.

Goodbye.
All I want is to see is that all of you are proud of who you really are. Persevere Charlie.

2009-02-06T18:33:00.000-08:00

I'm gonna study really hard.
I'm gonna be taller.
I'm gonna ace all my subjects.
I'm gonna be better.
I'm gonna do all I can.
I'm gonna bring out the best.
in them.

And I gonna...
celebrate Valentine's Day with loads of chocolates. It's the only time of the year where people flood each others' tables with tons of it.

2008-12-30T04:38:00.000-08:00

It's gonna be the end of the year 2008.

Maybe it should be time I did my reflections and start writing my new year resolutions.
Or maybe I should jot down what happen this whole year and let it be a form of remembrance of all that had happened.

On second thoughts, I don't think I have the time.

Speaking of time, I have less than 2! days to complete to remaining pile of homework I have.
I shall list down all the homework I've left and make myself feel more agitated.

English: 1 compo,2 summaries, 3 book reviews and 6 newspaper articles
E Math: About 2 units not done?
A Math: I'm left with only 2 units!
Physics: Untouched
Biology: Done! :)
Chemistry: 2 Experimental Planning and 2 Chapters of the workbook
Literature: Untouched
E.Geog: No HW.Yay!
S.S: No HW. Yay!
Chinese: 2 Compos and 1 whole list of phrases to learn

Oh man, please tell me school does not start on this Friday. Because apparently, I'm SO DEAD.
I find it kind of unfair because I only found out that there was Physics homework like only 1 week ago and Lit homework was only uploaded on 24th December.
How great is that?
On a lighter note, I found out that not all my classmates finished their homework too. So that means I'm not that dead yet. But still, SEC 4 LIFE'S GONNA SUCK.
So when the clock strikes midnight tomorrow,...
My dress ain't gonna transform into rags. BUT.
It's gonna be 2009 and I'm OFFICIALLY A SEC 4.
I've always sighing a relief year after year that I'm still not a Sec 4, which means the posters they hang around the school don't really apply to me.
And I get this kind of fear everytime I see the countdown poster coming up.

Still sadly, this is the way of life. Sigh.
Thank God for everything too. :)
I'm gonna treasure MY LIFE.

2008-12-17T07:16:00.000-08:00

I have been a sick kid this year.

I think this is the 4/5th time I am going to visit the doctor because of sore throat.
And it's mainly thanks to NC.
I've just recently caught up with my old pal, Ah Chua, the person who I can't seem to keep away despite eating an apple everyday. And that I have my rashes to thank for.
Ah Chua told me that I have sensitive skin and should stay away from nuts and chocolates. That's real bad because apparently, chocolates are my life.
AND I JUST ATE NUTELLA TODAY!!!!!
Stupid KSM, how can you forget that you need to stay away from chocolates!!!

Whatever, at least I still have my medicine and I can still rely on them if I were to get another allergy reaction again. But now my throat doesn't seem to be helping me. I guess I won't be touching my branded LONDON chocolates from now on. sheesh, what a waste.
What I want for Christmas, I take back my words. No more boxes of dark chocolates.
I suggest you get me some slimming gadget or something, so that I can get rid of my fats. Oh oh! A tuition teacher that specializes in MATHS and SCIENCES would be great too. Maybe, some new clothes/shoes to brighten up my pathetic cupboard. A camera would be great too :D Forget it, buy me loads of stepsils so that I won't loose my voice that easily again. yep, at least that will be one Christmas present that I can get.

Hmm, what else do I want for Christmas?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU!!!!!
you think? Duh no. I'm just simply quoting from partner's blog song.
It'll will sure be great if I can spend Christmas with my loved ones.
And that's all I really want. - to go back to the past before it all happened and relive those memories.

p.s~I love you too, my tofu family :)

2008-12-05T12:40:00.000-08:00

I seriously need to keep away from the computer...
I think you should get what I'm talking about. But if you don't, please do more lit essays to brush up on your analyzing skills.

COC didn't exactly turn out the way I thought it would be. It turned out more like an intensive drill session, except that you stand under the scorching sun in this unmoving position instead of marching around the entire parade square.
And the parade was a freaking long one.-

To me, this parade was a much slacker one and the people were a lot friendlier too. Minus a few, "I think I'm gonna be pissed" moments, the entire training and rehearsals of 2 days, were quite a pleasant one.

I think I'm gonna miss the old commandant. At first, I was getting a bit irritated with his long speech of thank yous. But his voice trailed off at the end and you can just picture him holding back his tears, I felt so bad and I was kind of hoping that he could have lengthened his speech and I wouldn't mind being in the diam position for a longer period of time. Even though initially, I found the 3 cheers kind of retarded, but during the actual parade, I can't help but to cheer really loud for the ex-commandant.

Still, all good things must come to an end. That's the way of life sadly.

Moving on, I want to give my BIGGEST THANKS to my dearest A.J and Partner for being there with me for the entire 2 days. Yep, I hope you've read that peeps, cause you guys just simply rock. I don't know how I could have endured that merciless sun and not to mention (dead fish and szt) without you guys. And partner, please don't choke on your water again even though I know you're very excited to see me. And A.J thanks for listening to your best friend's rantings :D and also for accompanying me on the train rides tro and fro.
And I know partner's really irritated with me for being late for both days. *opps*

I forgot to mention, we bought sweets for the whole girls GOH contigent to suck during the parade. Ironically, the sweet disappeared from my mouth even before the parade started. Pardon me for being cliche, I think our girls GOH contigent commanders are really funny. I think I'll miss both ma'am Shiyma(sp?) and ma'am Jocelyn(sp?) Oh, and Staff Shiyma(sp?)I think her commanding's good. (a lot better than staff)
H.Q's food portion is getting a major improvement compared to SC and SSC. Remind me not to touch old chang kee for the next 1 month. I had enough of food from that food outlet for COC.

Anyway, we took pictures with ma'am Zarifah and ma'am Debbie and ma'am Sophia. It feels kind of wierd taking photos with - as a spec instead of a cadet. Still, all good things have come to an end. And cake's gonna be who you're expecting her to be. The other...maybe not.

So COC night ended with a Crescent moon and 2 twinkling stars that seemed exceptionally bright that night. Maybe, it's the nearby planets. who knows? I look upon the vast sky and admire the works of God and his beautiful galaxies. This marks the end of COC, the end of heavy rifle, end of rifle oil, end of Encik screaming his head off, end of no.1 uniform, end of H.Q parades, end of GOH contigents,end of ma'am Xiao Wei's funny songs,end of ma'ams jokes and definately, end of my last ever major H.Q event of my NC life.

2008-12-01T04:37:00.000-08:00

I had a REALLY good time laughing my head off at some blog posts/comments today.

And with A.J beside you, you simply can't stop laughing even though the thing ain't funny anymore. Because her laughs are simply contagious. Read that already A.J?

Anyway, it was a mixture of feelings though.

Fast forward *ZOOM*

We(da bian, xiao bian and ys) pissed Lynette off today with our when I grow up song. We kept singing it in this stupid bimbo voice and finally Lynette gave up trying to shut us up and left the room for some peace and quiet.

Switch of topic:
Sigh, COC rehearsal is tomorrow and I haven't even prepared my uniform yet. Let's just skip this part shall we? Ok, fast forward...*ZOOM*

Oya, I just remembered that my "darling" cousin went on a holiday to States. Which means that I have 3 peaceful weeks all to myself! Hurray! And he better not forget those dark kit-kat chocolates I told him to buy if not I'll make him vomit out all those kit-kat dark chocolate he polished off from the fridge when I was away in camp. Ok...I take my words back, I won't want to be cleaning up after his vomit. And furthermore, I'm not so sadistic. -_-lll

Hopefully he remembers...which I don't think he will.

Wait! I forgot to mention something. *REWIND*
Partner! You so owe me a blogskin.
I've made my point. *Hint Hint*

2008-11-15T07:30:00.001-08:00

To masquerade:
Yes sir, thank you for your advice sir. __________________________________________________________
To my lovely tofus that obviously have been missing me so much since I left for Europe:
thank you for coming back to welcome me at the airport. I felt so loved <3

Europe was so nice! I enjoyed myself thoroughly even though my mind was filled a lot of things.
The air has been really good. I don't know how it managed to do it, but the cold wind just seems to make my mind clearer. Ironically, cold wind is supposed to make you fall asleep. However, I feel so much more refreshed now.

I kind of miss EVERYBODY as well, esp Charlie 08' & family. It's seriously the first time I felt a bit home sick, because I'm like a thousand miles away from home in a foreign land on the other side of the world. I've been for so many camps and school overseas trips but never have I really felt home sick. I guess, Charlie must have been a major part of my life, that's why I feel weird without them. And very importantly, the yummy food which my mum cooks.

Also not forgetting, 3C1 08' you guys rock! Although I kind of hate you all for being such smart asses and ace-ing your subjects when I fail terribly, I still love you all a lot! Thanks for taking care of me during the trip when I'm sick. Even though I most probably won't continue my responsibility as your chair next year, I will still support you all fervently!

Also, thanks to Mdm Kala and Ms Azlin for planning this trip. I'm more appreciative of literature now and I'm gonna ace my lit next year! Even though you all are not teaching us next year already, I still want to say that you all have been wonderful teachers. So all the best!
Something out of the blue- I'm still pretty amazed by the amount you both shop though.

Lastly, big thanks to my mum and dad for giving the money to go for the trip. Rest assure that I'll study hard and aim to get a scholarship to enter one of the grand universities I saw in Oxford. Oh, and special thanks to my mum and aunt for making their grand appearance in the airport to pick me up even though I know they won't be reading this.

My mind's really cleared now, I never had and never will have the intention of giving up. I'm ready for more and I know Charlie's always with me. We're gonna fight and we're not gonna stop.
Just wait. We'll rise to the occasion. :)
by the way, I miss them too.

2008-11-06T20:41:00.000-08:00

It's just so hard to accept the fact:

that they're like that,

that they don't care,

that time's so short,

that I suck a lot as who I am.

2008-10-27T01:33:00.000-07:00

Does it matter anyway?

It seems as if you know everything of her yet I'm just another person.
Maybe the 2 of you share the same thoughts.
I thought we were -.

What can I say? Everything just seems to add on to my disappointment.
I feel like a total failure.
Maybe I am.
Just that luck follows me when I "most need" it.
To give me more disappointment.

2008-10-24T05:58:00.000-07:00

A major disappointment.

I've learnt to drown my sorrows with mountains of chocolates.

2008-10-09T21:16:00.000-07:00

Finally, the strenuous exam period is over and it's back to the jammed-pack school life.

And I've decided to create a public blog. Mainly because I want to join the tofu family but yet keep my previous url as well. *heh*

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I've decided that classmates and other stuff(e.g Curie) are part of my school life as well and it would be nice if I had recorded them down as well. So yep. Don't bother trying to find my other url(cause it's private) but enjoy reading about my wonderful tofu family and the spastic things we do together.
Enjoy my totally tofu diary! :)